Saturday, June 9, 2012

Quirks of Chosen Single Parenthood

My plan when I was a little girl was to meet a guy in the course of daily life, date, get married, have babies and raise them together.  Yet, at age 30, I was still single and burning with a desire to do more with my life than an amazing 9 to 5 profession.  I had all the training to go far, but I knew I could be a good parent to kids in tough situations.  And since I also knew kids were waiting for good homes at that moment, so why would I wait until I was married - leaving these real children waiting.  


So, I decided to step up alone and choose the life of a single foster parent.  Beyond loving kids, I am not sure what I was thinking.  Being a single parent has come with its own set of issues, some anticipated and some an utter surprise.  Most are common to all single parents...  it is really hard to find childcare.  In most functional two parent homes, if Dad gets home to find a stressed out Mom, Mom can head out of the house for a few minutes while Dad corrals the kids.  Not so in a single parent home - you're it - ALL the time.  I also anticipated that it would be hard to have a social life.  Having at least one child attached to your hip at all times tends to slow down the invitations to concerts and coffee dates.

One thing I didn't think about, but am currently dealing with is car trouble.  My brakes are on the fritz and I just can't seem to get the rest of my life together enough to take the car into get fixed.  There is no other party who is willing or able to take time off of work to cart me and the children around until its fixed.  There is no one to run to the store for me if we run out of milk.  Kids still have to get to visits, appointments and school.  And anyway, where the heck am I sposta take the car, I don't know anything about cars...  I took the car to one of the men in my life last night to take a look.  My Dad.  Not only did he take a look, but he recommended a car shop and is calling ahead to talk to the mechanic and get me set up with a loaner car.  Having good men in my life is a blessing - single or not.

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It'll be a pleasure hearing your thoughts. Alisa