Mothers Day Series: Guest Post #4
Annette is a wife, mother and pediatric nurse. She loves baking, writing and reading. She can be found at Beyond "it", where she shares about the process of moving beyond the things in life that get in the way of becoming what God has asked her to be. "It" can be fear, grief, anger, and confusion, or in Annette's case, the death of her oldest child in 2010.
To be a mom...is to hold a piece of your heart in your arms. God has allowed 3 pieces of my heart to be born to earth. They overwhelm me with soft sweetness, with deep love, each one bringing unique joy to this crazy journey we are on! But the pieces of my heart were not promised to be mine to keep forever. They belong to the One who breathed into them as they journeyed through my body and burst into the light of life. As Mom’s we don’t want to believe we will ever be asked to open our arms to give the pieces back to God. Yet it was asked of me.
I did not easily offer my child back to God with joy. In fact I pleaded with Him to allow her to stay. One of the most painful questions I have had to answer when I meet someone new is “How many kids do you have?” It took me awhile to speak the truth of the answer. “I am the mom of 3 beautiful girls. Two live with me and one lives in heaven.” I’ll likely never understand the why’s of saying goodbye for now. I miss her so much. But through God’s great mercy and His gentle grace He is faithfully bringing some measure of healing and even thankfulness to my broken heart. The life we experienced with her was such a gift and I rejoice in the truth that some day I will hold her again!
I hold the pieces of my heart here with deeper passion than I used to. Missing a part makes me even more aware what a gift the other pieces are. Being a mom allows for great joy and invites great sorrow, but it’s a relationship I’ll treasure with each of them into eternity.