Thursday, April 26, 2012

To the Adoptive Mom & Dad of My Kids

To the adoptive Mom and Dad of "my" kids,

For the past months, Its been my job to take care of  the little girl* you are just meeting.  But now, you are here.  You are committing to raising her until she is old enough to care for herself.

Today she is my child.  Tomorrow she will be yours.  Parent to parent, there are a few things I want to say.

I ask you to respect my role in her life.  I am not her forever Mom, but I have taken care of her.  Clothed her.  Fed her.  Loved her.  And now I hand her over to you.  I speak highly of you.  I smile when I say your name.  I ask you, from time to time, to do the same.  Say good things about me.  Smile when you say my name.  Respect  the time she was here.  It will always be a part of her story.

As a mom, I ask you, please don't screw her up.  She was broken when she came to me.  She broke even more as she said goodbye by fractions.  She said goodbye, physically and then legally, to her birth mom, birth mom, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends and everything and most everyone she knew before meeting me.  Before coming into this thing called foster care.  But through it all - she also healed.  She learned how to love to trust.  She learned how to hug without fear.  Learned how to show and receive grace.  And she learned how to hope again.  

Most of all, love her.  Because at the end of the day, that is all I really want.  She is my baby.  For months, she hugged me goodnight.  She told me that she loved me.  And I love her.  Because of that love - I want her to have a Mom and a Dad who adore her.  I want her to be somebody's baby, no matter how old she is.  She deserves to the most special child in the world to someone, to you.  To be protected, fought for and wept over.  So, love her now, when shes cute and love her when she's not cute.  When she's angry.  When she hurts you on purpose.  When she runs.  Love her.  

Be her Mom.  Be her Dad.  

For. her. whole. life.

Love her.


*This little girl could be any one of the children I have, had or will have.  I have felt these things with every child I've had the privilege of fostering.  If you've adopted a child from foster care - put your child's name in this place and think about their foster parents and consider this their letter to you.



I just saw this video and have to share:

1 comment :

  1. That was beautiful and very heartfelt. I do hope that her forever parents realize that unfortunately they can't begin forever at adoption day, yesterday is still part of her story and her past is still part of her story and you are a BIG part of her story because you began the healing process for her. Thanks for sharing!

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It'll be a pleasure hearing your thoughts. Alisa